Honesty is the Best Policy, but Isanity is a Better Defense ~Mark Twain

So what happens when you unintentionally use both at the same time?  So I was driving a three hour trip from New Orleans to Alexandria one evening around 11pm to avoid having to make the drive early in the morning and face traffic.  It had been a long work week and I needed a pick-me-up to stay awake and keep focused on my driving.
I hit the scan button on my radio and quickly found an upbeat tune to rock out to alone in my car.  Oh yeah baby…it was Kid Rock’s “Cowboy”.  So I’m cruising along, singing at the top of my lungs when I suddenly get the urge to REALLY jam…you know, get the blood flowing to my sleepy brain.  Here I am cruising at 65 miles per hour on a poorly lit, back country highway doing some sort of hybrid car dance which I can only describe as head-banger hip-hop fusion perforated by intermittent finger pointing and fist pumping.  I OWNED that song ya’ll.
“And I’m headin’ out west sucka…because I wanna be a Coowboy baby!  With the top let back and the sunshine shining!  Coowboy baby…”

Barney Fife was about to drag me along on his power trip.

Unfortunately I was RUDLEY interrupted by the red and blue flashing lights in my rearview mirror.  So I pull over and the officer approaches my window and shines his flashlight right in my face.  You could imagine my thoughts as the following conversation ensued:
Fife: Ma’am, are you okay?  Do you need medical assistance?
Me: Wha?  Officer I wasn’t speeding and I didn’t hit anything.  May I ask why you pulled me over??
Fife: Do you need medical assistance?
Me: No, for what?
Fife: Well ma’am I just pulled you over to check on you.  When I pulled up behind your car, you were moving around in your vehicle suspiciously and I decided it would be better to be safe than sorry.
Me: You mean my dancing?
Fife: Well, from the rear view with my headlights shining on ya, it didn’t appear to be dancing.  Actually, only a couple of weeks ago I had to pull over a swerving car that had a driver moving around a lot, and I discovered that she was having some sort of seizure.  I just wanted to make sure this was not a similar situation.
Me: Well, am I supposed to thank you?  Cuz I’m pretty sure you not only just interrupted my jam, but now you are insulting my dancing, too.  I wasn’t swerving by the way.
Fife: No ma’am, you weren’t, but you were moving around violently and I thought I should check things out.
Me: I was jamming out to Kid Rock officer, not having a seizure thankyouverymuch.

Oh-My-Word!  He must not know how to car dance AT ALL!  I mean, the NERVE of that guy!  So he gave me a look that pretty much said, “Have a good night looney tunes!” And he sent me on my way.
He probably just made up that story to cover the fact that he wanted to meet the person who had such smooth moves.  Jealousy is an ugly thing officer…ugly.